I need a treat!

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Fun: Dog Rules (fun stuff for pet owners)
Sniff Around for Dog Events!

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Click to go:  Home > Fun > Dog Rules
Safe Toys For Your Dog
the dog rules

  • Dogs are never permitted in the house.

  • The dog stays out side in the specially built wooden
    compartment named for a very good reason, the dog house.
  • Ok, the dog can enter the house but only for short visits or
    if his own house is under renovation.
  • Ok, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis
    provided his doghouse could be sold in a garage sale to a
    rookie dog owner.

  • Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is
    confined to a comfortable, but secure cage.
  • Ok, the cage becomes part of a "two for one" deal in the
    garage sale and the dog can go wherever the hell he
    pleases.

  • The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
  • Ok, the dog can get up on the old furniture, but not the
    new furniture.
  • Ok, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks
    like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works,
    and buy new furniture on which the dog will most
    definitely not be allowed.

  • The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.
  • Ok, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed only.
  • Ok, the dog can sleep along side you, but he is not allowed
    under the covers.
  • Ok, the dog can sleep under the covers, but not with his
    head on your pillow.
  • Ok, the dog can sleep along side you, under the covers
    with his head on your pillow, but if he snores, he's got to
    leave the room.
  • Ok, the dog can sleep and snore and fart and have
    nightmares in your bed, but he's not to come in and sleep
    on the couch in the TV room, where you're now sleeping.
    That's just not fair.

  • The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaires as
    "primary resident" even if it's true.

    Remember, in any and all house-hold interactions or disputes
    -- the dog rules !
rules for dog owners

I will not bathe my dog after he bathes himself in the mud puddle.

I will not push my dog away when she wants a hug after playing in a mud
puddle.

I will not complain "My arm is tired" after only throwing the ball 20 times.

I will not confuse my dog by throwing snowballs for him to fetch.

I will not ask my dog to play fetch with a boomerang.

I will not drag my dog away from the interesting sniffing spots.

I will drop whatever I'm doing and take my dog out as soon as he asks me to.

I will not tell my dog to hurry up already when he's looking for just the right
spot to take care of business.

I will not stare while my dog is doing his business.

I will not feed the cat before I feed my dog.

I will get rid of that cat.

I will not bring home any more cats.

I will never eat until my dog has tasted what I have and approved it for me.

I will share everything I eat with my dog.

I will set up the kiddie pool every day it's hot - even in December.

I will not leave my dog at home any time I go in the car.

I will allow my dog on the couch.

I will protect my dog from that obnoxious little human thing at all times.

I will not have another of those obnoxious little human things.

I will not hide my dog's ball in a place where I know he couldn't possibly
retrieve it from and then ask him to go get it.

I will not take shredded, soggy, yummy tennis balls away from my dog.

I will not sneak around the backyard wearing funny clothes to test whether
my dog is a good watchdog.

I will stop referring to my dog's necklace as her "collar."

I will not cut my dog's nails.

I will not abandon my dog for trivial reasons like "going to work".

I will not wake my dog when I come home from work.

I will not come home from work and feel the sofa to see if it is still warm from
where my dog was sleeping "illegally".

Bad weather is no excuse for not walking my dog.

I will open the back door as soon as my dog sits by it.

I will not laugh at my dog for being confused over not being able to find the
lump of ice that he buried earlier.

I will not run out of treats. (... see i-pets.com)

I will always carry cookies and treats.

I will not make my dog wear silly-looking antlers or red hats.

I will not make my dog pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.

I will not tie leftover ribbons and bows all over my dog.

I will not use decorations like tinsel that could be dangerous to my dog.

I will try much harder to understand my dog's language.
Do you Own a dog or are you
thinking about owning a dog?  
Click Here for those little things
you should know about your new
canine family member.